Gail Burton/Associated Press
Did you have a hard time keeping up with Sunday’s whirlwind of action? Fear not: Digest kept a real-time diary of all the ups, downs and reversals of fortune!
All times Eastern, some rounded by a minute or two.
Early Morning: ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that Marcus Mariota is unlikely to play in the Colts-Titans game due to a stinger. This is your moment, Blaine Gabbert! Seriously…this is your moment, Blaine Gabbert.
2:30 p.m.: Good news, Steelers fans! Running back James Conner is cleared to play after pregame warm-ups.
2:50 p.m.: The Patriots take a 28-3 on the Jets’ second fumble of the game to all but guarantee a first-round bye. Earlier Patriots touchdowns came after a shanked punt and on a fumble followed by the most Foxborough of penalties: Nudging the Quarterback.
The Patriots go on to win 38-3 and enter the playoffs as they entered the season: beating up on opponents that lose all composure the moment they catch sight of Gillette Stadium.
2:55 p.m.: Bad news, Steelers fans! Antonio Brown is ruled out with a knee injury.
3:55 p.m.: The Texans take the AFC South title with a 20-3 win thanks to a muffed Jaguars punt, Deshaun Watson’s ability to survive behind the absence of an offensive line, DeAndre Hopkins’ brilliance and the continued employment of Blake Bortles.
4:10 p.m.: Dak Prescott overcomes multiple sacks and nonstop pressure to lead a 36-35 comeback victory over the Giants to sew up…wait, the Cowboys were slotted with the fourth playoff seeding no matter what and had nothing to play for. What the hell was Jason Garrett thinking risking Prescott like that?
4:25 p.m.: Eagles cornerback Rasul Douglas intercepts Josh Johnson’s first pass of the game. Eagles fans celebrate.
4:32 p.m.: Nick Foles throws a red-zone interception. Eagles fans lament and gnash their teeth.
4:35 p.m.: Bears running back Jordan Howard scores and Chicago takes a 7-0 lead over the Vikings. Eagles fans celebrate.
4:45 p.m.: The Rams use a second 49ers turnover to take a 14-0 lead. Eagles fans, fearing the Bears will pull their starters if the Rams take a commanding lead to guarantee them a first-round bye, succumb to Lovecraftian madness before the end of the first quarter.
4:50 p.m.: Lamar Jackson looks like he was fired out of a missile launcher on his first touchdown run.
4:57 p.m.: Eagles take 3-0 lead. ‘Bout time.
5:07 p.m.: Lamar Jackson’s second touchdown features a jump cut that looks like Toon Link’s up-and-B attack in Smash Bros. Ultimate. The Ravens appear to be taking control against the Browns.
5:08 p.m. Ben Roethlisberger throws a pick-six. The Steelers are playing like they are watching Ravens highlights on the Jumbotron.
5:12 p.m.: The Vikings go three-and-out on their fourth straight series. Kirk Cousins has nine passing yards.
5:15 p.m.: The Chiefs take a 21-0 lead over the Raiders, the only force in the universe more feeble against a team angling for home-field advantage in Week 17 than the Jets in Foxborough.
5:30 p.m.: The Bengals hit a field goal to take a 10-0 lead over the Steelers. Alshon Jeffrey scores to give the Eagles a 10-0 lead. The eastern and western halves of Pennsylvania haven’t felt this many conflicted emotions since the 2016 election.
5:40 p.m.: Lamar Jackson fumbles while reaching over the goal line. A 100-yard Browns return is negated by a quick whistle. The Steelers kick a field goal moments later, after a fourth-down conversion, to cut their deficit to 10-3. Two sudden reversals of fortune in the AFC North race.
Meanwhile, the Rams take a 27-3 lead (they will clinch a first-round bye with a 48-32 win), but the Bears leave their starters in.
5:47 p.m.: Cameras catch Adam Thielen and Kirk Cousins having a heated discussion on the sideline with the Vikings trailing 13-3. Cousins begins waving his arms around wildly at Thielen, like a malfunctioning robot or an Overwatch character who just glitched into a wall. (And yes, Digest spent a lot of the week after Christmas playing video games.)
6 p.m.: TJ Watt keeps strip-sacking Jeff Driskel, but Driskel keeps recovering. The Bengals still lead.
6:15 p.m.: Patrick Mahomes throws an 89-yard touchdown pass and the Chiefs extend their lead to 28-3. Home-field advantage is safe (they eventually win 35-3).
6:17 p.m.: Baker Mayfield throws a touchdown to Jarvis Landry after juggling the ball in the backfield, cutting the Ravens’ lead over the Browns to 20-14. (Column idea: Baker Mayfield rudely interrupts Ravens-Steelers playoff drama by throwing touchdowns like a punk. That sucker will CLICK.)
6:27 p.m.: The Vikings finally score a touchdown to cut their deficit to 13-10. All it took was a ticky-tack roughing-the-passer penalty, a pass-interference penalty and a fourth-down conversion in the red zone. Cousins has 60 passing yards.
6:30 p.m.: JuJu Smith-Schuster scores. The Steelers and Bengals are now tied 10-10. If you give the Steelers a dozen chances to get back in a game, they’ll make the most of one.
6:48 p.m.: Nate Sudfeld replaces a nicked-up Nick Foles and throws a touchdown pass to give the Eagles a 24-0 lead. Eagles fans tune in to Bears-Vikings, where the Bears are driving.
6:50 p.m.: The Bears score a touchdown to extend their lead. The Browns kick a field goal to cut the Ravens’ lead to six. The Steelers convert a 4th-and-4. Cue the Gladiator “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?” GIF.
6:55 p.m.: The Steelers kick a field goal to take a 13-10 lead. Hooray?
7:03 p.m.: The Bengals tie the Steelers 13-13 with a field goal. The Ravens get breathing room with a field goal (after a dubious 3rd-and-4 spot extends their drive) to give them a 26-17 lead moments later.
7:12 p.m.: Kirk Cousins throws four straight incomplete passes trailing 24-10. That whooshing sound you hear is the backdraft that occurs when $84 million is set on fire.
7:15 p.m.: A Browns touchdown cuts the Ravens lead to 26-24 with waaaaaaay too much time on the clock. The Steelers kick yet another field goal to take yet another lead.
7:22 p.m.: Lamar Jackson fumbles an option pitch, forcing a punt. The Steelers kneel to preserve an ugly 16-13 win. All eyes on Baltimore.
7:38 p.m.: C.J. Mosley intercepts Mayfield’s fourth-down pass on the fringe of field-goal range. The Ravens clinch the AFC North. The Steelers’ playoff hopes now rest with a Colts-Titans tie. After the way they played down the stretch, they deserved to stay up all night Sunday wishing for a tie.
9 p.m.: Andrew Luck throws his second touchdown to give the Colts a 14-0 lead over the Gabbert-led Titans. All of this game’s drama appears to have evaporated when Mariota was ruled out.
9:30 p.m.: A Javon Brown interception return makes it 14-7 Colts. Not a laugher yet.
10:10 p.m.: Luck’s third touchdown makes it 24-10.
10:38 p.m.: The Titans remember they have Derrick Henry. A long run sets up a touchdown to make it 24-17. The Titans hope for a win remains alive. So does the Steelers’ hope for a tie.
10:55 p.m.: Gabbert throws across his body into the hands of a Colts defender, setting up a Colts field goal. He is, after all, Blaine Gabbert.
11:15 p,m.: Darius Leonard breaks up a 4th-and-14 pass after a spate of Titans penalties, and the Colts ice the win with a quick touchdown. The teams that played well down the stretch (Colts, Eagles, Ravens) all earn playoff berths. The teams that did not play well fell short. And, thankfully, no one got in because of some ridiculous tie.
from Viral News Show http://bit.ly/2TiQIPB
0 Comments